SpeakUpJV

More Love, Less Pressure

Growing up is hard. Growing up being the older sibling is even harder. The expectations and standards were different when it came to school, love, and overall family roles. Being the older sibling meant stricter rules, a shorter childhood, and internalized trauma. It often meant shielding the younger siblings from the reality of family dynamics and increased pressure to break generational cycles. However, growing up wasn’t all bad. Being the older sibling also meant we gained independence, resilience, and humility. It solidified our reasons for wanting to change things and it helped us learn to serve others. Throughout this journey, we learned what our purpose was and what it was not. But most importantly, we learned to give more love, less pressure. *In no way was this episode meant to insult our families. We both love our parents very much. This was just our reality growing up.*

Be You (88thx11Mile Episode)

This is a two part episode dedicated to our listeners and the 88thx11mile venue. The first part contains motivational messages regarding the importance of staying true to yourself at all times throughout life. You will be tested and you will be shaken but it’s important to remember to always be you. The second part of this episode contains audio clips from the event where we had an opportunity to interview some amazing individuals. They remind us to keep going, to surround ourselves with the right people, and to not be afraid of being creative with our passions. Listen to their stories on how they got started and were able to stay true to themselves during their journey. Thank you to everyone who participated in making this episode special. You are appreciated.
 
Interview times:
Soso (@signedlovesauma) LA based photographer- 18:06
Troy (@troyinla) LA based writer/ actor- 26:04
Kassandra (@the_kassandra_lee) Actress and Youtube influencer from New Jersey- 38:02
Rick “Big A” (@coolsideofbiga) LA based radio host personality- 45:30
TJ (@goodcalljamaal, @baelessbychoice) LA based DJ/ producer/ clothing line designer- 52:16
Love and K Fly (@roomserviceradiolv) Las Vegas radio host personalities- 57:24
Special shout out to 88thx11mile (@88thx11mile) for honoring us with the opportunity to be a part of their event.

Comfort Is A Lie

There are times when we may find ourselves in a rut. We realize we are stuck in a routine, dissatisfied with the lack of progress we’ve made, and we are too afraid to venture out of what we already know. In other words, we are stuck in the comfort zone; the place that feels “ok” and familiar. But the illusion only lasts so long, especially when we feel like we should be doing more with our lives. This is why getting out of the comfort zone will be difficult and require some mental strength but it is worth it if we plan on becoming a better us. Living the future we want for ourselves means we have to leave the old habits and expired relationships behind and instead requires us to challenge ourselves to work for it. Leaving the comfort zone won’t be easy but we will never find our purpose there. So dare yourself to pursue your long-term goals and be great because remember that comfort is a lie.

Enough!

There are times in our lives when we have to make tough decisions about our romantic situations. These decisions might involve us letting go of a person we love because it turns out we are rescuing them more than we are loving them. But letting go is better than losing ourselves into that person and forgetting that we are still us without them. Sometimes we try to desperately hold onto these relationships and end up pouring all our love into someone more than we do into ourselves. It’s true that all relationships require work and compromise but not all relationships are worth keeping around. Sometimes making the right decision means breaking our own hearts but it also means saving our spirit in the long run. Sometimes making the right decision means just knowing when we’ve had enough!

Check On Me Too

One of the hardest lessons we will come to learn in life is realizing that not everyone will have our best interests at heart. Not everyone will pick up our phone calls, support our hustle, or even care that we’re not our best. What’s worse is when we come to realize that we’re the ones constantly checking on these people, traveling the distance for them, and showing our love to them. The thing is, oftentimes when we care for individuals in our lives, we forget to care for ourselves. It’s ok to be kind and caring but it’s also ok to set boundaries with people who are draining our energy. However, it goes without saying that there will also be goodhearted individuals who are genuinely trying to help us. It’s just a matter of deciding who we want to reciprocate our time and energy with. Our overall goal should be to have healthy, well-balanced relationships in our lives. In order for us to find that, though, sometimes we have to say, “check on me too” and see who is willing to listen.

Patience Looks Good On You

As individuals who are always on the go, or who are ready for the next big thing and rushing to the finish line, it may be difficult for us to hear the word patience. However, patience is key when it comes to goals, relationships, and personal development. Even learning to practice patience takes patience! But if we don’t learn to do it, we might miss important moments along the way, or be grateful for the small victories, or we might even push our loved ones to grow at a pace they’re not personally ready for. While it is important to have big dreams and ultimate goals, it’s also important to learn that patience plays a major role within our journey towards those goals. The great thing about patience, though, is that it is universal. It looks good on anyone and everyone but most importantly, patience looks good on YOU.

"F" Them

Sometimes we hang on to painful thoughts and memories due to the fact that we are still hurt, angry, or traumatized from them. We may also think that holding onto grudges makes us stronger and helps us prove a point. However, holding grudges only creates further resentment and prevents us from living our lives to their fullest potential. This is why it’s important to practice forgiveness, not just towards others but towards ourselves as well. Forgiveness allows us to be free from the pain and disappointment we may experience based on our interactions with others. Forgiving ourselves allows us to evolve into our better selves and become more resilient individuals. So let’s live our lives and grow (in the words of Nipsey) and “F” them.

Don't Chase Validation

In a world full of blue checks, #relationshipgoals, and job titles, it’s easy to get caught up in comparisons and chase validation from external sources. We tend to chase validation by comparing ourselves to what we see online and then feel like something is wrong with us since we aren’t living that particular lifestyle. We also tend to chase validation from others around us whether it’s because we want to make them proud, or we want to prove a point, or simply because we want to be well-liked. At the end of the day it’s important for us to chase our own inner validation because we are the only ones who can define ourselves and live our own lives. Inner validation is powerful, it’s life changing, it’s all self love but we have to be willing to embrace our individualism and live life accordingly in order to find it. 

Change For The Better

Change is uncomfortable. It makes us question our lives and sometimes we wonder if we will ever make it out. Coping with change will test our faith, stress us out, and have us wishing we could go back. Change, however, is inevitable, but it is all about what we do about that change that matters. Are we trying to better our spirit and find our peace after the chaos has left? Are we strengthening our relationships and cherishing the right people around us? Are we taking control of our reactions and rearranging our perspectives? Whether we are going through life altering changes or simply experiencing “growing pains,” we need to allow ourselves to become better versions of ourselves. Being able to reach our future goals and feel that inner peace requires us to evolve into better human beings and change for the better.

The G Episode

When we lead busy lives it’s so easy to get caught up in looking for the next best thing. Whether that means we’re always looking for the next piece of technology, the next best job, or the next relationship, we tend to be ready for the next step without enjoying the present moment. This is the moment we are living in and will not get back. We need to practice gratitude for the small things, such as having a meal or waking up one more morning. Practicing gratitude sets the mindset we need in order to keep pushing towards positivity and self love. This is the episode that reminds us to appreciate our struggle. This is the episode that reminds us to be mindful. This is the G Episode.

Let's Talk About Healing

The term “healing” is not just about the physical wounds that get left behind after a fall. Healing is about dealing with the triggers from past trauma, about finding ourselves after hitting rock bottom, about the person we become once the heartache is over. Healing is not linear and it involves acknowledging that there is work to be done. We have to avoid bleeding on others and realize that our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship we have in our lives. Healing is an important part of self love that helps us discover the best part of ourselves once the hardship is overcome. So let’s talk about it.

It's Time To Detox

This episode is not about food. The term detox in this episode refers to a life detox. A life detox from unhealthy habits, toxic relationships, and emotional drainage. It is about protecting our mental health and emotional wellbeing by changing and letting go. A proper life detox involves changing the people we associate with, changing our negative daily habits, or even changing the way we talk to ourselves. Detoxing is not easy, though, because it also involves a lot of letting go and making room for new things in our lives. But the only way to grow and become better versions of ourselves is when we learn that it’s time to detox.

20/20 Vision

Having dreams and goals are important in life as they help us figure out what our purpose is. However, dreams and goals without action will not get us there. It’s easy to make excuses as to why we haven’t started something, such as having too many goals at once, being “too busy,” or it “just isn’t the right time.” This is where having 20/20 vision towards our own life comes in. This perfect vision means that there are no distractions or excuses stopping us along our journey and we have a clear view of our future. Having this vision does not guarantee that there won’t be setbacks or obstacles along the way but it does guarantee clarity and reminds us that the greatest achievements come after the hardest falls. Having 20/20 vision reminds us to fight for what we want every day.

Communication Is Sexy

There is nothing sexier than a conversation that leaves you with an open mind, a calm heart, and clarity. Healthy communication opens doors for all kinds of relationships and it creates a safe space for words to flow. Lack of communication leads to wasted time and unanswered questions on both sides. As adults, it is important to be able to face each other and talk about things instead of “ghosting” and running away. If something is worth fixing and keeping, a verbal expression of emotions can go a long way. Although actions do speak louder than words, verbal communication can have an impact too. So, let’s all be sexy and learn how to communicate.

Be With Yourself First

Being single can be a confusing time for many of us, especially if we’re feeling pressured from trends, such as #relationshipgoals, “cuffing season,” or comparing ourselves to what our friends or followers are posting online. But when we are in our single phase, there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. The feeling of loneliness stems from a place of fear, whether it’s fear of our inner demons, fear of being “forever alone,” or fear of change. That fear can also keep us stuck in the same toxic cycles of negative self-talk and stunted growth. Spending time alone allows us to reflect on what we want and don’t want in our lives. We can learn to date ourselves, have higher standards, and set boundaries. In the end, it’s important to know who you are outside of a relationship and learn to be with yourself first

The "A" Word

As humans, it’s easy to place blame on other people, our circumstances, or the Universe for our mishaps but the reality is we are always responsible for our own actions. Our decisions, words, and movements dictate where we are going in life and what consequences are left as a result. But this is where the “A” word comes in: accountability. This does not just mean taking responsibility, but rather owning up to your sh*t and doing something about it. The purpose is to be better than you were yesterday so it’s important to start getting rid of the dead ends and it starts with taking accountability. So, how often do you use the “A” word?

Live In Resilience

“Life will knock you down if you let it.” This is a reminder that life will throw all kinds of curveballs at us but we need to get back up and keep moving forward. This is where our resilience comes into play. If we adopt a healthier perspective towards life’s challenges and learn from the lessons, it becomes easier to build upon that resilience. It’s important to become stronger, wiser, and better than before. Even if we have setbacks and sometimes the pain becomes too much, we need to remember WHY we are doing something. In order to start living in our purpose, we need to start by living in our resilience.

Don't DM Me, Talk To Me

While social media has paved the way for connections to be made across the globe and it has revolutionized the way we communicate with each other, it has also changed the way we approach dating. There is nothing wrong with meeting someone online or using that medium as a way to keep the conversation going, but it is a problem when we stop face-to-face interactions because of it. In order for us to build healthy relationships it is important that we get to know the individual by spending real time with them instead of focusing on their online status or what they portray on their profile. So, next time you want to “shoot your shot” on someone don’t just send a DM, talk to them.

Masterpieces From Broken Pieces

There is no such thing as coming from a perfect family. Some of us may come from an environment of toxic cycles, bad habits, and resentment. However, we can also learn from certain things, such as the strength of a parent, the wisdom of a sibling, or the traditions we wish to keep. We can't control where we came from but we can always control where we are going and what kind of future we will be shaping for ourselves and our own families. It is important to utilize the broken pieces from our past and learn to create them into masterpieces for our future.

Keepin' It 100 With Mental Health

This episode is in honor of mental health awareness month. Everyone is leading a busy life but it is important to recharge in order to reach our goals. Maintain focus but don’t overwhelm yourself. Listen to your body’s needs as well as your mind because it is the fuel for your ambition. Your mind is the element that controls the rest of you. It’s time to have real conversations about the importance of maintaining balance in all areas of your life. It’s time to keep it 100 with mental health.

Support&Grow

Part of self-development includes sharing the the positivity, the lessons, and the results you have acquired along the way as it makes all the difference in your journey.Much like you may have become inspired by someone, you might also inspire others. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition but you can also help each other grow with support. This episode is dedicated to all the hard working individuals making their dreams come true one step at a time.

Anxiety Won't Defeat You

Anxiety is a normal human reaction but can become problematic when it affects your everyday life. It’s important to know the difference between what’s normal and what's not. Learn to dominate the small things so the bigger things don’t have control over you.Find effective coping mechanisms to make it easier to deal with anxiety. It won’t be easy but you're not alone. You are stronger than this and remember your anxiety won't defeat you.

Be Your Own Legacy

This episode is dedicated to Nipsey Hussle and his legacy.As we remember all the good he did for music and the Black community, we must also remember to create our own. Living in our purpose and knowing who we are defines the path we take. Nonbelievers will always have something to say so do something you are proud of. The stories we leave behind once we’re gone are the ones that matter most. So be your own legacy because remember the marathon continues.

Secure The Bag And Your Peace

Finding a balance between your job and your personal life can often times be difficult. We tend to become overwhelmed by stressors at our jobs and then once our day is over, we bring it home with us. Practicing mindfulness throughout your day is essential to finding that balance. Although having a job is important, it should not consume your entire life. Dedicate time to yourself to breathe, to practice self-care, and accomplish goals. Remember to secure your bag but also secure your peace.

When Value Goes Up, Bullsh*t Goes Down

The definition of your own value is dependent on what you allow to have control over you. It's no secret that life will test you but only you decide how you will react to a situation. That's why it’s important to have standards and self-discipline. Be aware of who or what is in your space and getting your time. You must think of the long term and what’s best for you, what will bring you peace. The higher your value is, the lower your chances are that you will put up with some bs.