SpeakUpJV

Daily Dose Of "C"

We all know that it’s important to have a healthy, balanced diet in order to be physically well. We need our daily vitamins and nutrients, most of them in daily doses. But what about nutrients for our mental, emotional, and spiritual health? In this episode we’ve decided to talk about one important nutrient we should incorporate into our everyday lives and that is called confidence. This is crucial in determining how we carry ourselves, how we raise a child, and every other relationship in between. It also affects how we crave/ don’t crave attention and work ethic. What we hear as children can affect our confidence and how much we need to work on it every day. Confidence is a critical component in our lives that affects everything else we do. This is why it’s recommended to get our daily dose of “C.”

Use Your Voice (Special Episode)

The intent of this episode is to discuss the current fight against racism and police brutality towards Black lives. These two major issues have disproportionately affected Black lives more than any other group of people within the US. It is important that everyone speaks up and fights against racism and police brutality because there is power in numbers and silence is no longer an option. It is important to learn in what ways we can amplify Black voices and lives and there are various outlets available in order for us to do that. We need to keep asking questions, educate ourselves, and take action steps in order to create real change. Don’t be afraid to use your voice. Rest In Peace George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor. Rest In Peace to all of our Black Queens and Kings whose voices have been silenced due to racism and police brutality. To the entire Black community, your lives matter yesterday, today, and always.

Create And Chill

When the world is chaotic and everything seems so unstable, sometimes the last thing we want to do is wind down. However, this is absolutely necessary in order to get some proper mental rest and recharge. We need to tap into our creativity and practice healthy expression every once in awhile. Meeting our creative needs reminds us of what we are capable of when we learn to let loose, learn to nurture our talents, and to just be unapologetically unique. Creativity comes in many shapes and forms but we just have to find it. So, let’s forget about things for a bit. Let’s sit down and unwind. Let’s create and chill.

Double Standards Are Overrated

Today’s episode is about rules or principles which are unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups. If you couldn’t guess from the definition, we’re talking about double standards today. Double standards confine us into strict categories that limit us from speaking, making, and living our truth. Some double standards date far back from past generations and continue to affect our daily lives today. They are excuses for us to mistreat each other and become judgmental based off of socially constructed ideas. They can affect our relationships, body image, and overall ability to understand others. Double standards do a lot more harm than good and we wanted to talk about some that have affected us in our personal lives. We knew it was time we speak up on this topic because double standards are harmful, demeaning, and so overrated.

Be Honest With Yourself

During these uncertain times where we are forced to slow down or change course, it’s pertinent that we take the time to sit down with ourselves and practice self reflection. The term self reflection refers to having serious thoughts about our actions and motives within our lives. It’s something we owe to ourselves if we want to move on from our past, let go of bad habits, and mature. What actions have we taken that have shaped us to be who we are today? Are we proud of the motives behind those actions? How can we do/ be better? Practicing self reflection won’t make us perfect but it will make us more balanced.  Just remember, you are the only person you can’t lie to so it’s time to be honest with yourself.

Love Through The Flaws

We all know that there is no such thing as a perfect person. Everybody has a distinct life story full of obstacles, traumas, and imperfections. This goes for friends, lovers, and even parents. Our loved ones will disappoint us much like we will disappoint them. Sometimes we will disappoint ourselves along the way too and it’ll be important for us to learn self acceptance. This is where we learn that although we are flawed individuals, we are also worthy of love. The type of love that doesn’t change just because we weren’t our best or because we saw when someone wasn’t at their best. However, there is a difference between accepting less than what you deserve and accepting that we all come with baggage and it’s up to use as individuals to decide what that looks like. Relationships change and people change but if we’re determined to grow alongside someone and within ourselves we must learn to love through the flaws.

It Gets Better

This is something that can prevent us from pursuing our dreams, from making a change, and even from growing as a person. This is something that can control our lives if we let it and add it to our list of regrets as we get older. This is something everyone has experienced at one point or another in life and it is called fear. Although fear is a very real emotion, it usually stems from our imagination of what could happen but hasn’t yet. Sometimes we become wrapped up in our fears to the point where panic mode sets in and we lose belief in our capability to achieve. Some fear is healthy though as it often becomes a motive to drive human action. It’s important to learn to cope with our fears, as real as the perceived threat may be, and grow from the experiences if we want to grow more into ourselves. We must learn to take it day by day and realize it gets better.

Perspective Sets The Vibe

When dealing with difficult, chaotic times, it’s easy for us to become overwhelmed by our circumstances. We may feel uncertain, shocked and shaken, or lost through it all. While these negative emotions are valid and necessary to come to terms with, we must also learn that there is always one thing we can control and that is our perspective. Our perspective sets the attitude with which we use to handle the chaos as well as the type of mindset we carry with us. Having a healthy perspective reminds us how far we have come and to count our blessings. This is why it’s important to recognize the type of people we allow into our space and thoughts as well as protect our own perspective when dealing with others. Always pour love into yourself and unto others, especially when they need a little extra. Remember, what you continue to focus on you will continue to attract because perspective will always set the vibe for your life.

Episode 30- Don't Drink The Haterade

Have you ever encountered someone who is constantly criticizing you or putting you down? Someone who says they want to see you do well but when it comes down to it, they minimize your success? Someone who does not want to see you do better than them? You might have encountered someone who has been drinking what we call the “haterade.” A hater will try and spread rumors about you based on past information, make backhanded compliments, or always try and compare themselves to others. Sometimes, we ourselves may be the haters without realizing it and that’s when it’s time for some self-reflection. One of the best ways to get rid of the jealousy that comes from hate is to embrace our flaws and realize we have our own story to write. That is something no one can take away from us because that is our truth. We need to learn to protect our spirit and energy at all times, still be genuine with others, and work on our own passions in order to create a meaningful life. Being a hater will get us nowhere so we must learn to not drink the haterade.

"7 Letters Of Power" Podcast Pit LA

We want to take the time to thank Podcast Pit LA and The GoodNews Radio for this episode. They believed in us enough to provide us with this wonderful opportunity. The word “believe” carries a lot of power when it comes from a genuine place. Sometimes, it takes others believing in our talents and voices to reinforce our purpose and that’s what this episode is about. It’s about us needing people in our corner cheering us on, reminding us that we’re on the right path to greatness. However, it’s not enough for others to believe in us if we don’t believe in ourselves. A lack of self-belief can easily lead to us getting discouraged along our journey, which can then lead to self doubt and/or negative self-talk. Finding out our life’s purpose and being our own biggest fans help strengthen our self love. All it takes is a little courage and hope. All it takes is a little bit of patience and time. All it takes is 7 letters of power.

More Love, Less Pressure

Growing up is hard. Growing up being the older sibling is even harder. The expectations and standards were different when it came to school, love, and overall family roles. Being the older sibling meant stricter rules, a shorter childhood, and internalized trauma. It often meant shielding the younger siblings from the reality of family dynamics and increased pressure to break generational cycles. However, growing up wasn’t all bad. Being the older sibling also meant we gained independence, resilience, and humility. It solidified our reasons for wanting to change things and it helped us learn to serve others. Throughout this journey, we learned what our purpose was and what it was not. But most importantly, we learned to give more love, less pressure. *In no way was this episode meant to insult our families. We both love our parents very much. This was just our reality growing up.*

Be You (88thx11Mile Episode)

This is a two part episode dedicated to our listeners and the 88thx11mile venue. The first part contains motivational messages regarding the importance of staying true to yourself at all times throughout life. You will be tested and you will be shaken but it’s important to remember to always be you. The second part of this episode contains audio clips from the event where we had an opportunity to interview some amazing individuals. They remind us to keep going, to surround ourselves with the right people, and to not be afraid of being creative with our passions. Listen to their stories on how they got started and were able to stay true to themselves during their journey. Thank you to everyone who participated in making this episode special. You are appreciated.
 
Interview times:
Soso (@signedlovesauma) LA based photographer- 18:06
Troy (@troyinla) LA based writer/ actor- 26:04
Kassandra (@the_kassandra_lee) Actress and Youtube influencer from New Jersey- 38:02
Rick “Big A” (@coolsideofbiga) LA based radio host personality- 45:30
TJ (@goodcalljamaal, @baelessbychoice) LA based DJ/ producer/ clothing line designer- 52:16
Love and K Fly (@roomserviceradiolv) Las Vegas radio host personalities- 57:24
Special shout out to 88thx11mile (@88thx11mile) for honoring us with the opportunity to be a part of their event.

Comfort Is A Lie

There are times when we may find ourselves in a rut. We realize we are stuck in a routine, dissatisfied with the lack of progress we’ve made, and we are too afraid to venture out of what we already know. In other words, we are stuck in the comfort zone; the place that feels “ok” and familiar. But the illusion only lasts so long, especially when we feel like we should be doing more with our lives. This is why getting out of the comfort zone will be difficult and require some mental strength but it is worth it if we plan on becoming a better us. Living the future we want for ourselves means we have to leave the old habits and expired relationships behind and instead requires us to challenge ourselves to work for it. Leaving the comfort zone won’t be easy but we will never find our purpose there. So dare yourself to pursue your long-term goals and be great because remember that comfort is a lie.

Enough!

There are times in our lives when we have to make tough decisions about our romantic situations. These decisions might involve us letting go of a person we love because it turns out we are rescuing them more than we are loving them. But letting go is better than losing ourselves into that person and forgetting that we are still us without them. Sometimes we try to desperately hold onto these relationships and end up pouring all our love into someone more than we do into ourselves. It’s true that all relationships require work and compromise but not all relationships are worth keeping around. Sometimes making the right decision means breaking our own hearts but it also means saving our spirit in the long run. Sometimes making the right decision means just knowing when we’ve had enough!

Check On Me Too

One of the hardest lessons we will come to learn in life is realizing that not everyone will have our best interests at heart. Not everyone will pick up our phone calls, support our hustle, or even care that we’re not our best. What’s worse is when we come to realize that we’re the ones constantly checking on these people, traveling the distance for them, and showing our love to them. The thing is, oftentimes when we care for individuals in our lives, we forget to care for ourselves. It’s ok to be kind and caring but it’s also ok to set boundaries with people who are draining our energy. However, it goes without saying that there will also be goodhearted individuals who are genuinely trying to help us. It’s just a matter of deciding who we want to reciprocate our time and energy with. Our overall goal should be to have healthy, well-balanced relationships in our lives. In order for us to find that, though, sometimes we have to say, “check on me too” and see who is willing to listen.

Patience Looks Good On You

As individuals who are always on the go, or who are ready for the next big thing and rushing to the finish line, it may be difficult for us to hear the word patience. However, patience is key when it comes to goals, relationships, and personal development. Even learning to practice patience takes patience! But if we don’t learn to do it, we might miss important moments along the way, or be grateful for the small victories, or we might even push our loved ones to grow at a pace they’re not personally ready for. While it is important to have big dreams and ultimate goals, it’s also important to learn that patience plays a major role within our journey towards those goals. The great thing about patience, though, is that it is universal. It looks good on anyone and everyone but most importantly, patience looks good on YOU.

"F" Them

Sometimes we hang on to painful thoughts and memories due to the fact that we are still hurt, angry, or traumatized from them. We may also think that holding onto grudges makes us stronger and helps us prove a point. However, holding grudges only creates further resentment and prevents us from living our lives to their fullest potential. This is why it’s important to practice forgiveness, not just towards others but towards ourselves as well. Forgiveness allows us to be free from the pain and disappointment we may experience based on our interactions with others. Forgiving ourselves allows us to evolve into our better selves and become more resilient individuals. So let’s live our lives and grow (in the words of Nipsey) and “F” them.

Don't Chase Validation

In a world full of blue checks, #relationshipgoals, and job titles, it’s easy to get caught up in comparisons and chase validation from external sources. We tend to chase validation by comparing ourselves to what we see online and then feel like something is wrong with us since we aren’t living that particular lifestyle. We also tend to chase validation from others around us whether it’s because we want to make them proud, or we want to prove a point, or simply because we want to be well-liked. At the end of the day it’s important for us to chase our own inner validation because we are the only ones who can define ourselves and live our own lives. Inner validation is powerful, it’s life changing, it’s all self love but we have to be willing to embrace our individualism and live life accordingly in order to find it. 

Change For The Better

Change is uncomfortable. It makes us question our lives and sometimes we wonder if we will ever make it out. Coping with change will test our faith, stress us out, and have us wishing we could go back. Change, however, is inevitable, but it is all about what we do about that change that matters. Are we trying to better our spirit and find our peace after the chaos has left? Are we strengthening our relationships and cherishing the right people around us? Are we taking control of our reactions and rearranging our perspectives? Whether we are going through life altering changes or simply experiencing “growing pains,” we need to allow ourselves to become better versions of ourselves. Being able to reach our future goals and feel that inner peace requires us to evolve into better human beings and change for the better.

The G Episode

When we lead busy lives it’s so easy to get caught up in looking for the next best thing. Whether that means we’re always looking for the next piece of technology, the next best job, or the next relationship, we tend to be ready for the next step without enjoying the present moment. This is the moment we are living in and will not get back. We need to practice gratitude for the small things, such as having a meal or waking up one more morning. Practicing gratitude sets the mindset we need in order to keep pushing towards positivity and self love. This is the episode that reminds us to appreciate our struggle. This is the episode that reminds us to be mindful. This is the G Episode.

Let's Talk About Healing

The term “healing” is not just about the physical wounds that get left behind after a fall. Healing is about dealing with the triggers from past trauma, about finding ourselves after hitting rock bottom, about the person we become once the heartache is over. Healing is not linear and it involves acknowledging that there is work to be done. We have to avoid bleeding on others and realize that our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship we have in our lives. Healing is an important part of self love that helps us discover the best part of ourselves once the hardship is overcome. So let’s talk about it.

It's Time To Detox

This episode is not about food. The term detox in this episode refers to a life detox. A life detox from unhealthy habits, toxic relationships, and emotional drainage. It is about protecting our mental health and emotional wellbeing by changing and letting go. A proper life detox involves changing the people we associate with, changing our negative daily habits, or even changing the way we talk to ourselves. Detoxing is not easy, though, because it also involves a lot of letting go and making room for new things in our lives. But the only way to grow and become better versions of ourselves is when we learn that it’s time to detox.

20/20 Vision

Having dreams and goals are important in life as they help us figure out what our purpose is. However, dreams and goals without action will not get us there. It’s easy to make excuses as to why we haven’t started something, such as having too many goals at once, being “too busy,” or it “just isn’t the right time.” This is where having 20/20 vision towards our own life comes in. This perfect vision means that there are no distractions or excuses stopping us along our journey and we have a clear view of our future. Having this vision does not guarantee that there won’t be setbacks or obstacles along the way but it does guarantee clarity and reminds us that the greatest achievements come after the hardest falls. Having 20/20 vision reminds us to fight for what we want every day.

Communication Is Sexy

There is nothing sexier than a conversation that leaves you with an open mind, a calm heart, and clarity. Healthy communication opens doors for all kinds of relationships and it creates a safe space for words to flow. Lack of communication leads to wasted time and unanswered questions on both sides. As adults, it is important to be able to face each other and talk about things instead of “ghosting” and running away. If something is worth fixing and keeping, a verbal expression of emotions can go a long way. Although actions do speak louder than words, verbal communication can have an impact too. So, let’s all be sexy and learn how to communicate.

Be With Yourself First

Being single can be a confusing time for many of us, especially if we’re feeling pressured from trends, such as #relationshipgoals, “cuffing season,” or comparing ourselves to what our friends or followers are posting online. But when we are in our single phase, there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. The feeling of loneliness stems from a place of fear, whether it’s fear of our inner demons, fear of being “forever alone,” or fear of change. That fear can also keep us stuck in the same toxic cycles of negative self-talk and stunted growth. Spending time alone allows us to reflect on what we want and don’t want in our lives. We can learn to date ourselves, have higher standards, and set boundaries. In the end, it’s important to know who you are outside of a relationship and learn to be with yourself first